Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Hell's Highway

This poorly shot horror B film starts out with a girl Lucinda hitch hiking (really original) and some guy that can barely speech English is driving by picks her up. He offers a drink of water which is poison and she jumps out of the car he chases her and kills her. Great start lots of blood. So it turns out he's a priest or some shit and she comes back to life and smashes his fucking brains in! It turns out this is just an intro and it moves to some kids on a road trip.
So these kids are on a road trip/race with there friends to see who can get to a California beach first,doing a film documentary , there are graves makers up and down this fucking highway and they are partying hard and using every movie cliche' possible in the first five minutes. They pick up a hot hitch hiker, I'm guessing this is a bad idea. This bitch is creepy she got like this one tooth that freaks me out, she's killing everybody on this highway and she going kill this crew too. So the creepy chick is talking about shoving her gun up this other chicks pussy, its really dirty. They end up pushing her out of the car, they are safe for now.

Ok this is great Ron Jeremy makes an appearance yes thee Ron Jeremy, he's the next one to pick up Lucinda. He tries to fuck her and she cuts his dick off, hilarious! This movie is shot like a porno and it has a porn star in it, actually thinking about it the chick Lucinda looks like a porn star too. Any ways this chick from the first is having visions of her killing, like wow creepy, it's stupid. So these geniuses decide to camp out instead of getting a hotel for night. There is a crazy psycho bitch on killing spree and they're just going to camp. Well time to get "busy" the one couple are fucking and the chick keeps saying she wants to get busy , oh yeah lets get busy and its time for some titties, love it. So now anytime I want to have sex with a girl I'm just going to use the "lets get busy" line from this movie.
So the next day they are driving and sure shit Lucinda is on the road waiting, she throws a knife at the car which had so stupid effect and they ran her over with car that was sweet. Her head gets ripped off and her intestines are all over the high way. Her intestines are hooked on the car they drag her ripped up body down the highway, and then more blood, this chick in the car gets blasted in the face, it was okay. So either way the creepy chick keeps coming back, now she has got a chainsaw and kills them one by one. It gets down to the last girl and some dude in gas mask comes out of no where and saves her. Fucking weird.

Hell's Highway **
GORE :  6 stars
Boobs: 10 1/2

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